The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...