Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
