Texts From Last Night

mastersnip02's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions? http://tfl.nu/wa33
  Replies (22) Good night (2489) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts... http://tfl.nu/b46l
  Replies (13) Good night (1883) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI. http://tfl.nu/53k1
  Replies (6) Good night (2061) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/qx75
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (2999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together (770): The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy http://tfl.nu/sw3w
  Replies (7) Good night (2763) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not. http://tfl.nu/kqhm
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (2929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it. http://tfl.nu/yxow
  Replies (4) Good night (2321) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!! (717): Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly. http://tfl.nu/0dyl
  Replies (22) Good night (1368) Bad night (3134)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens. http://tfl.nu/kai5
  Replies (44) Good night (3598) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/w1xa
  Replies (12) Good night (6272) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy. http://tfl.nu/1qel
  Replies (22) Good night (5897) Bad night (1079) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU. http://tfl.nu/rhle
  Replies (16) Good night (5196) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about. http://tfl.nu/434y
  Replies (3) Good night (2666) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me.... http://tfl.nu/xfhz
  Replies (11) Good night (1317) Bad night (3352) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We just shotgunned beers for America

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): We just shotgunned beers for America http://tfl.nu/dv8f
  Replies (31) Good night (3994) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it http://tfl.nu/4bhh
  Replies (14) Good night (4152) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry? http://tfl.nu/iiar
  Replies (32) Good night (1385) Bad night (4664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though. http://tfl.nu/qm3u
  Replies (18) Good night (5623) Bad night (1641) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit. http://tfl.nu/4gp7
  Replies (27) Good night (1244) Bad night (7130) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit. http://tfl.nu/q5dj
  Replies (16) Good night (883) Bad night (2553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask? http://tfl.nu/y41y
  Replies (17) Good night (6054) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes... http://tfl.nu/9zzk
  Replies (70) Good night (1113) Bad night (11084) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region? (1-513): The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well. http://tfl.nu/bwog
  Replies (28) Good night (1545) Bad night (5396)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila http://tfl.nu/e6je
  Replies (20) Good night (837) Bad night (5600) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place http://tfl.nu/sgjx
  Replies (30) Good night (12342) Bad night (1237) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you. http://tfl.nu/te9j
  Replies (23) Good night (5854) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face. http://tfl.nu/e8qy
  Replies (83) Good night (17335) Bad night (1783) Order T-Shirt