Texts From Last Night

madpanda's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief. http://tfl.nu/eaos
  Replies (40) Good night (4895) Bad night (3138)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
  Replies (53) Good night (10536) Bad night (1474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it. http://tfl.nu/064r
  Replies (13) Good night (6254) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with. http://tfl.nu/ihrj
  Replies (13) Good night (3823) Bad night (1047) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control. http://tfl.nu/p5nx
  Replies (9) Good night (1870) Bad night (4626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you. http://tfl.nu/kcuf
  Replies (12) Good night (2237) Bad night (3283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys. http://tfl.nu/a4t1
  Replies (28) Good night (1048) Bad night (5625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came

  (323): View more from California

  i love that song!

  (818): View more from California

  NOT THE POINT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came (323): i love that song! (818): NOT THE POINT http://tfl.nu/7i6t
  Replies (19) Good night (7292) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles. http://tfl.nu/duc8
  Replies (37) Good night (10538) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second http://tfl.nu/z13t
  Replies (11) Good night (1048) Bad night (5043) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way http://tfl.nu/pn6a
  Replies (20) Good night (10258) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he. http://tfl.nu/52vb
  Replies (51) Good night (14843) Bad night (2231) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty http://tfl.nu/ybq4
  Replies (19) Good night (1085) Bad night (6580) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent http://tfl.nu/74gr
  Replies (14) Good night (6229) Bad night (1228) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  6 min

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers (1-215): 6 min http://tfl.nu/dx1s
  Replies (64) Good night (10373) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"

  (913): View more from Kansas

  did you yell "are you not entertained?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude" (913): did you yell "are you not entertained?" http://tfl.nu/qa0j
  Replies (21) Good night (6830) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain. http://tfl.nu/vwtj
  Replies (51) Good night (25354) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event. http://tfl.nu/eg4k
  Replies (22) Good night (8610) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Her vagina smelled like bad decisions http://tfl.nu/m5j1
  Replies (33) Good night (793) Bad night (7719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So do you want to come over? ;)

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): So do you want to come over? ;) (763): Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/m0zn
  Replies (44) Good night (1070) Bad night (6720)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (289) Good night (62249) Bad night (4267)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t
  Replies (280) Good night (54020) Bad night (4401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth. http://tfl.nu/f5s8
  Replies (116) Good night (6535) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me http://tfl.nu/dmik
  Replies (27) Good night (7834) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out. http://tfl.nu/lsxk
  Replies (18) Good night (3326) Bad night (1665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy. http://tfl.nu/5u2t
  Replies (79) Good night (9384) Bad night (1316) Order T-Shirt