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And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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