What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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