Texts From Last Night

adamisourking's Favorites Texts:

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us

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  (715): You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us http://tfl.nu/z8w6
  Replies (8) Good night (3102) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".

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  (903): She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch". http://tfl.nu/00r2
  Replies (18) Good night (5223) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

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  (253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23
  Replies (17) Good night (8002) Bad night (1551)
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  (909): View more from California

  He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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  (909): He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me. http://tfl.nu/a0xa
  Replies (19) Good night (2229) Bad night (5822) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.

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  (508): He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/n1jt
  Replies (2) Good night (3591) Bad night (973)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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  (850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg
  Replies (16) Good night (5129) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.

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  (202): I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded. http://tfl.nu/owwz
  Replies (30) Good night (4828) Bad night (3729) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.

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  (540): I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/5p64
  Replies (9) Good night (4329) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.

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  (917): I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing. http://tfl.nu/vu1b
  Replies (13) Good night (6697) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever

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  (330): fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever http://tfl.nu/itin
  Replies (11) Good night (4940) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .

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  (250): woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" . http://tfl.nu/721o
  Replies (9) Good night (6314) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.

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  (205): It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/u0k7
  Replies (30) Good night (7022) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...

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  (757): hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found... http://tfl.nu/titb
  Replies (16) Good night (9655) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  i fucked a milf yesterday.

  (619): View more from California

  i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

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  (310): i fucked a milf yesterday. (619): i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old. http://tfl.nu/l3df
  Replies (28) Good night (13261) Bad night (1670)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion

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  (651): The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion http://tfl.nu/8885
  Replies (12) Good night (2096) Bad night (4030) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

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  (804): finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets. http://tfl.nu/gp9t
  Replies (21) Good night (8149) Bad night (1036)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (82) Good night (33499) Bad night (1310)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said

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  (419): I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said http://tfl.nu/s0mp
  Replies (21) Good night (4573) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

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  (908): my sombrero is too big for the bathroom http://tfl.nu/okhq
  Replies (25) Good night (9158) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions

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  (206): weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions http://tfl.nu/qwf5
  Replies (12) Good night (5453) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.

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  (330): The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life. http://tfl.nu/g5ok
  Replies (35) Good night (15263) Bad night (1139)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

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  (310): I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet. http://tfl.nu/z51s
  Replies (15) Good night (7663) Bad night (761)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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  (414): they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed???? http://tfl.nu/zsp8
  Replies (39) Good night (6246) Bad night (1482) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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  (701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk
  Replies (63) Good night (21484) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  whats a bus flip?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  idk but apparently i invented it

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  (225): i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip (1-225): whats a bus flip? (225): idk but apparently i invented it http://tfl.nu/n87k
  Replies (23) Good night (9502) Bad night (795)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.

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  (585): He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius. http://tfl.nu/hqjt
  Replies (26) Good night (7813) Bad night (1065)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy

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  (678): she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy http://tfl.nu/57ze
  Replies (17) Good night (5977) Bad night (1146) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.

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  (805): Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy. http://tfl.nu/cdtm
  Replies (23) Good night (5291) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.

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  (209): You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed. http://tfl.nu/9lg8
  Replies (23) Good night (1967) Bad night (6596) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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  (415): the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication http://tfl.nu/40rd
  Replies (16) Good night (8990) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands

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  (301): All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands http://tfl.nu/k9zw
  Replies (10) Good night (4338) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt