dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way