the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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