I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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