Texts From Last Night

samtastic09's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me. http://tfl.nu/z6eo
  Replies (35) Good night (18609) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age. http://tfl.nu/rqe0
  Replies (25) Good night (1133) Bad night (5186) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills http://tfl.nu/tub1
  Replies (25) Good night (6591) Bad night (1418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  only on the fourth of july.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming. (1-813): only on the fourth of july. http://tfl.nu/s13z
  Replies (20) Good night (7471) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski
  Replies (17) Good night (4468) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin... http://tfl.nu/2jr9
  Replies (23) Good night (892) Bad night (5171) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible... (1-203): your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen http://tfl.nu/mgfl
  Replies (19) Good night (5200) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night. http://tfl.nu/e3vv
  Replies (9) Good night (3843) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dont! You were just serving you country

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now... (404): Dont! You were just serving you country http://tfl.nu/lcsl
  Replies (70) Good night (6416) Bad night (2065)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (11869) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard. http://tfl.nu/hy6n
  Replies (10) Good night (6254) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Let's make jello shots for tomorrow

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What's going on tomorrow?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nothing, it's Wednesday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Let's make jello shots for tomorrow (1-913): What's going on tomorrow? (913): Nothing, it's Wednesday http://tfl.nu/pnp1
  Replies (29) Good night (10282) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable. http://tfl.nu/quma
  Replies (7) Good night (5605) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though. http://tfl.nu/527j
  Replies (13) Good night (1287) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she has a santa fetish

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  cute.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place? (215): she has a santa fetish (267): cute. http://tfl.nu/kuhz
  Replies (18) Good night (5391) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car. http://tfl.nu/95eu
  Replies (27) Good night (5637) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me. http://tfl.nu/aut7
  Replies (15) Good night (636) Bad night (3072) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (232) Good night (61997) Bad night (2130)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh
  Replies (49) Good night (28202) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either... http://tfl.nu/vddq
  Replies (45) Good night (547) Bad night (6716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk

  (1-914): View more from New York

  It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk (1-914): It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you http://tfl.nu/bgwq
  Replies (55) Good night (8274) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt
  Replies (55) Good night (12901) Bad night (4751)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (246) Good night (64506) Bad night (2455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk
  Replies (199) Good night (82971) Bad night (6405)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (499) Good night (82815) Bad night (7566)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (484) Good night (128189) Bad night (5060)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex.. http://tfl.nu/ynb7
  Replies (121) Good night (3225) Bad night (60403) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background? http://tfl.nu/ypnh
  Replies (76) Good night (4430) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.

  (813): View more from Florida

  morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much. (813): morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU (203): oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/75bu
  Replies (42) Good night (827) Bad night (2331)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you" http://tfl.nu/44qj
  Replies (14) Good night (6837) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand. http://tfl.nu/9289
  Replies (7) Good night (4018) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl. http://tfl.nu/kow0
  Replies (20) Good night (694) Bad night (6294) Order T-Shirt