I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.