Texts From Last Night

dirtbaggette's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car http://tfl.nu/oon7
  Replies (29) Good night (4400) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex. http://tfl.nu/rq63
  Replies (11) Good night (3821) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care. http://tfl.nu/npdd
  Replies (10) Good night (2686) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex http://tfl.nu/pkc8
  Replies (21) Good night (5312) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest. http://tfl.nu/ndz5
  Replies (52) Good night (15298) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  That wasn't intended for you, my bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me. (1-304): That wasn't intended for you, my bad. http://tfl.nu/hfz2
  Replies (23) Good night (5312) Bad night (1143) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin' http://tfl.nu/fw6c
  Replies (37) Good night (6045) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway" http://tfl.nu/9cdg
  Replies (36) Good night (3348) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows. http://tfl.nu/05tf
  Replies (20) Good night (2590) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing. http://tfl.nu/dymp
  Replies (56) Good night (7595) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is. http://tfl.nu/uj2o
  Replies (14) Good night (3377) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.' (617): we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom http://tfl.nu/ju2m
  Replies (22) Good night (663) Bad night (2409)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things. http://tfl.nu/e6ox
  Replies (36) Good night (8850) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks

  (626): View more from California

  well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks (626): well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person http://tfl.nu/xqyj
  Replies (13) Good night (6359) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks http://tfl.nu/aadi
  Replies (16) Good night (2415) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport. http://tfl.nu/vfi8
  Replies (26) Good night (3554) Bad night (1579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray? http://tfl.nu/uvnt
  Replies (32) Good night (4434) Bad night (1098) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire. http://tfl.nu/oqcy
  Replies (12) Good night (1077) Bad night (4892) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me http://tfl.nu/rey7
  Replies (22) Good night (6352) Bad night (1045) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe
  Replies (32) Good night (5329) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  you srsly need to quit going to that bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?! (616): you srsly need to quit going to that bar http://tfl.nu/h4yo
  Replies (25) Good night (1165) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family.. (1-908): yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now... http://tfl.nu/humh
  Replies (8) Good night (524) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch... http://tfl.nu/5oqr
  Replies (5) Good night (955) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward... http://tfl.nu/8dba
  Replies (1) Good night (1250) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  "women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): "women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc (1-201): damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy http://tfl.nu/c3kq
  Replies (29) Good night (2282) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7 http://tfl.nu/xypt
  Replies (13) Good night (5954) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv
  Replies (16) Good night (9800) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/yadf
  Replies (16) Good night (6904) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much. http://tfl.nu/wscf
  Replies (21) Good night (8179) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex. http://tfl.nu/kgv4
  Replies (5) Good night (2667) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt