Texts From Last Night

dallas78's Favorites Texts:

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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  (570): I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up. http://tfl.nu/kls9
  Replies (14) Good night (1006) Bad night (3722) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...

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  (757): she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them... http://tfl.nu/ior4
  Replies (23) Good night (5198) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

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  (805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k
  Replies (12) Good night (1175) Bad night (1432) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you

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  (803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you http://tfl.nu/rx95
  Replies (11) Good night (1097) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle

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  (518): Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle http://tfl.nu/ebj2
  Replies (11) Good night (544) Bad night (1727) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.

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  (303): She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan. http://tfl.nu/jf6q
  Replies (41) Good night (11574) Bad night (1884) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things

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  (601): having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things http://tfl.nu/w4id
  Replies (39) Good night (15311) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We should party with her soon

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  (651): She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death. (715): We should party with her soon http://tfl.nu/q1hq
  Replies (17) Good night (8254) Bad night (993)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.

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  (310): Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1. http://tfl.nu/ep6p
  Replies (14) Good night (4201) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.

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  (734): I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire. http://tfl.nu/kkrz
  Replies (17) Good night (1648) Bad night (2765) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  This explains so much.

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  (205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy
  Replies (30) Good night (17899) Bad night (887)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.

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  (701): Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/s47d
  Replies (13) Good night (6827) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.

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  (818): This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate. http://tfl.nu/k2b3
  Replies (39) Good night (1563) Bad night (4682) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them

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  (716): strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them http://tfl.nu/3anm
  Replies (10) Good night (3176) Bad night (1577) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168255) Bad night (42159) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

  (917): View more from New York City

  Thats what she said

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  (516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j
  Replies (13) Good night (1812) Bad night (561)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  What's he like?

  (954): View more from Florida

  The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.

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  (407): What's he like? (954): The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/zcji
  Replies (29) Good night (7283) Bad night (917)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs

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  (513): Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs http://tfl.nu/gf82
  Replies (71) Good night (2140) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"

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  (208): The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?" http://tfl.nu/toa2
  Replies (17) Good night (7530) Bad night (1401) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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  (630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n
  Replies (51) Good night (10436) Bad night (1402)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.

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  (765): I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart. http://tfl.nu/xlbc
  Replies (37) Good night (6757) Bad night (1464) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

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  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (11809) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them

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  (415): u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them http://tfl.nu/vc7z
  Replies (43) Good night (3631) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."

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  (415): I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker." http://tfl.nu/s149
  Replies (75) Good night (1131) Bad night (5004) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.

  (661): View more from California

  Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.

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  (480): I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED. (661): Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand. http://tfl.nu/omij
  Replies (16) Good night (3465) Bad night (485)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  what do you have against ST

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.

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  (540): what do you have against ST (1-540): DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/zpvl
  Replies (11) Good night (3127) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt