Pappa wants mamma naked
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
