Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.