You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No...this little piggys going to the bar
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need a burrito and a hug.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on