i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize