Texts From Last Night · FlashingLight's Favorites

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FlashingLight's Favorites Texts:

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick

Fav 18 9790 1856
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(518): View more from New York

i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

Fav 5 4188 904
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

Fav 9 2668 1582
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(843): View more from South Carolina

happy early fathers day!!!

(829): View more from Dominican Rep

im not a father

(843): View more from South Carolina

about that...

Fav 225 8816 73996
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

Fav 41 6859 1590
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(513): View more from Ohio

He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

Fav 4 3596 1157
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(504): View more from Louisiana

My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.

Fav 26 9014 1786
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

Fav 60 15768 2602
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