hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
