he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
