I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
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Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.