I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In other news, I just burned my penis
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.