I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
