Texts From Last Night

401turned858's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cmgz
  Replies (7) Good night (1509) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard. http://tfl.nu/br69
  Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere. http://tfl.nu/z8sw
  Replies (5) Good night (566) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  That is like, the point of shorts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard. (1-414): That is like, the point of shorts http://tfl.nu/qcbf
  Replies (5) Good night (1286) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life. http://tfl.nu/nnhi
  Replies (8) Good night (861) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away. http://tfl.nu/v47s
  Replies (6) Good night (2052) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1488) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you. http://tfl.nu/fpwy
  Replies (8) Good night (2260) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins. http://tfl.nu/zjez
  Replies (21) Good night (5261) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch". http://tfl.nu/00r2
  Replies (18) Good night (5206) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests. http://tfl.nu/eem8
  Replies (20) Good night (1864) Bad night (4866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ask politely.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thats good enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Ask politely. (610): Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you? (484): Thats good enough. http://tfl.nu/nxir
  Replies (62) Good night (13194) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn http://tfl.nu/trfc
  Replies (14) Good night (5287) Bad night (1242) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree http://tfl.nu/l7gp
  Replies (46) Good night (5841) Bad night (1736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now. http://tfl.nu/lz21
  Replies (37) Good night (757) Bad night (2024) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online http://tfl.nu/tzby
  Replies (13) Good night (5359) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time

  (972): View more from Texas

  i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time (972): i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!" http://tfl.nu/dprb
  Replies (22) Good night (9421) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v
  Replies (16) Good night (7556) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere. http://tfl.nu/fb8z
  Replies (6) Good night (2190) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot

  (586): View more from Michigan

  That was very cool/italian of you

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot (586): That was very cool/italian of you (586): Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving http://tfl.nu/l4rm
  Replies (11) Good night (1685) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman? http://tfl.nu/4514
  Replies (28) Good night (2286) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met (1-319): thanks it was an honor just to be nominated http://tfl.nu/yswc
  Replies (37) Good night (10694) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!' http://tfl.nu/csk1
  Replies (34) Good night (5779) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  wat bout pragnant strippers??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815)wat bout pragnant strippers?? http://tfl.nu/yg4y
  Replies (7) Good night (493) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it. http://tfl.nu/h4q6
  Replies (22) Good night (6047) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/j9u3
  Replies (35) Good night (955) Bad night (12537) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material. http://tfl.nu/r91w
  Replies (15) Good night (11851) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions. http://tfl.nu/7qp6
  Replies (29) Good night (8168) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight http://tfl.nu/29c9
  Replies (30) Good night (6059) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat. http://tfl.nu/eo6a
  Replies (28) Good night (7734) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was. http://tfl.nu/5vrd
  Replies (41) Good night (4901) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting http://tfl.nu/1yn1
  Replies (21) Good night (2676) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying. http://tfl.nu/86vj
  Replies (24) Good night (900) Bad night (5986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon. http://tfl.nu/cf99
  Replies (31) Good night (8319) Bad night (2778) Order T-Shirt