Texts From Last Night · 401turned858's Favorites

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401turned858's Favorites Texts:

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(304): View more from West Virginia

drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.

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(805): View more from California

No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

That is like, the point of shorts

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Ask politely.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Thats good enough.

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