Texts From Last Night

nonphotoblue's Favorites Texts:

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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles

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  (+61): I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles http://tfl.nu/20ya
  Replies (3) Good night (1404) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?

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  (410): There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him? http://tfl.nu/lo67
  Replies (20) Good night (560) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!

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  (309): Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half! http://tfl.nu/uska
  Replies (4) Good night (1144) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.

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  (918): She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life. http://tfl.nu/zzux
  Replies (2) Good night (1135) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?

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  (413): How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA? http://tfl.nu/rcz7
  Replies (16) Good night (808) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.

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  (727): She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it. http://tfl.nu/8d3q
  Replies (6) Good night (1095) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.

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  (405): I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society. http://tfl.nu/cbw1
  Replies (19) Good night (661) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties

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  (419): don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties http://tfl.nu/ivn3
  Replies (2) Good night (1253) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.

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  (513): Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude. http://tfl.nu/aac3
  Replies (6) Good night (2242) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram

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  (508): in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram http://tfl.nu/qw4a
  Replies (12) Good night (634) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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  (718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh
  Replies (27) Good night (441) Bad night (1352) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?

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  (814): I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today? http://tfl.nu/mxod
  Replies (5) Good night (1198) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.

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  (914): Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition. http://tfl.nu/iv4o
  Replies (20) Good night (2554) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero

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  (732): I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/o55w
  Replies (10) Good night (1510) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told you those kegels would come in handy one day

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  (303): If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina (401): I told you those kegels would come in handy one day http://tfl.nu/ed4f
  Replies (22) Good night (2188) Bad night (465)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.

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  (406): I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price. http://tfl.nu/xxnk
  Replies (8) Good night (3037) Bad night (325)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo

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  (207): I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo http://tfl.nu/r3az
  Replies (7) Good night (1397) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon

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  (716): this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon http://tfl.nu/3rl3
  Replies (10) Good night (2874) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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  (831): She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock" http://tfl.nu/hp1z
  Replies (26) Good night (4631) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.

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  (714): I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off. http://tfl.nu/39nr
  Replies (9) Good night (2718) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?

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  (714): She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what? http://tfl.nu/cv8q
  Replies (51) Good night (1049) Bad night (4931) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.

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  (253): Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad. http://tfl.nu/4hs3
  Replies (13) Good night (549) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.

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  (716): i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents. http://tfl.nu/knds
  Replies (9) Good night (3385) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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  (608): You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal. http://tfl.nu/so63
  Replies (21) Good night (6781) Bad night (604)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.

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  (910): Like some sort of pot growing robin hood. http://tfl.nu/4atp
  Replies (17) Good night (1623) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.

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  (229): I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did. http://tfl.nu/0cy8
  Replies (12) Good night (1154) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.

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  (618): I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door. http://tfl.nu/79gl
  Replies (17) Good night (2635) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends

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  (440): I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends http://tfl.nu/0e7c
  Replies (22) Good night (1760) Bad night (1655) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51673) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt