Texts From Last Night

ShangriLala's Favorites Texts:

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.

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  (419): He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer. http://tfl.nu/ld4h
  Replies (8) Good night (1531) Bad night (168)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (183) Good night (53938) Bad night (4175)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (349) Good night (55353) Bad night (6455) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (196) Good night (76735) Bad night (3807) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (178) Good night (82690) Bad night (2374) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (434) Good night (107943) Bad night (8843) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me

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  (623): Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice. (1-623): That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me http://tfl.nu/ei2r
  Replies (8) Good night (2198) Bad night (232)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.

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  (208): so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate. http://tfl.nu/25ho
  Replies (17) Good night (4247) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.

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  (559): No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support. http://tfl.nu/kxfx
  Replies (13) Good night (378) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.

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  (952): Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost. http://tfl.nu/9cwp
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.

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  (978): I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them. http://tfl.nu/nsss
  Replies (8) Good night (1379) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.

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  (702): I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century. http://tfl.nu/3h7h
  Replies (18) Good night (442) Bad night (2697) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.

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  (707): drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius. http://tfl.nu/e6s0
  Replies (4) Good night (1311) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.

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  (772): So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me. http://tfl.nu/5rwa
  Replies (11) Good night (2934) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius

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  (310): My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius http://tfl.nu/fnfz
  Replies (7) Good night (1403) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather

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  (304): You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather http://tfl.nu/giov
  Replies (16) Good night (1291) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.

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  (503): And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company. http://tfl.nu/g17w
  Replies (25) Good night (377) Bad night (1855) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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  (919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa
  Replies (18) Good night (3691) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  since 2006

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  (207): someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship? (1-207): since 2006 http://tfl.nu/9t6c
  Replies (7) Good night (1896) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"

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  (740): There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!" http://tfl.nu/rva9
  Replies (5) Good night (989) Bad night (4422) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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  (434): NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup. http://tfl.nu/qouj
  Replies (20) Good night (6379) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.

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  (330): i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow. http://tfl.nu/ez44
  Replies (11) Good night (3075) Bad night (389)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.

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  (512): its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants. http://tfl.nu/mk0c
  Replies (46) Good night (924) Bad night (4360)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.

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  (708): I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event. http://tfl.nu/286m
  Replies (6) Good night (3308) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt