Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Real life dumb and dumber

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  (775): It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers (702): Real life dumb and dumber http://tfl.nu/6nu9
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (227)
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  (650): View more from California

  At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.

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  (650): At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe. http://tfl.nu/ot23
  Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (218)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops

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  (908): Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops http://tfl.nu/wq2e
  Replies (7) Good night (2299) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

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  (410): Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA! http://tfl.nu/7pku
  Replies (348) Good night (43867) Bad night (4588) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (358) Good night (59269) Bad night (7159) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
  Replies (383) Good night (128558) Bad night (4085) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (491) Good night (133298) Bad night (5806)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168542) Bad night (42237) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (485) Good night (173320) Bad night (6945) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142361) Bad night (9363) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

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  (937): I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it. http://tfl.nu/wtlk
  Replies (8) Good night (2194) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"

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  (334): We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!" http://tfl.nu/8nad
  Replies (4) Good night (1412) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof

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  (907): Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof http://tfl.nu/yowz
  Replies (5) Good night (1116) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.

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  (724): If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet. http://tfl.nu/ik1n
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?

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  (248): When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle? http://tfl.nu/70g5
  Replies (7) Good night (960) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".

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  (951): He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later". http://tfl.nu/gid9
  Replies (12) Good night (783) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

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  (816): Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks. http://tfl.nu/88uh
  Replies (20) Good night (1803) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.

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  (208): Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all. http://tfl.nu/lyhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1687) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunday is the day of rest.

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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  (857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5
  Replies (3) Good night (1889) Bad night (335)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  ur mom makes the best bacon

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

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  (570): ur mom makes the best bacon (1-570): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/0ryx
  Replies (13) Good night (3516) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself

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  (406): I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself http://tfl.nu/7ngm
  Replies (13) Good night (2262) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle

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  (484): My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs (610): I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle http://tfl.nu/o9xz
  Replies (13) Good night (2550) Bad night (411)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow

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  (304): Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow http://tfl.nu/l8ph
  Replies (10) Good night (3821) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there

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  (+44): She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there http://tfl.nu/j1ap
  Replies (6) Good night (1932) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt