you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
