Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
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This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"