i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
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Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.