I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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