Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
