i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize