Texts From Last Night

goofygirl76's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass... http://tfl.nu/21fm
  Replies (16) Good night (3702) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s
  Replies (13) Good night (7951) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper? http://tfl.nu/y2i2
  Replies (7) Good night (1202) Bad night (3115) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't http://tfl.nu/i8hu
  Replies (29) Good night (5916) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors. http://tfl.nu/cath
  Replies (10) Good night (10939) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job. http://tfl.nu/97jt
  Replies (18) Good night (7904) Bad night (1710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke! http://tfl.nu/q0f1
  Replies (39) Good night (6884) Bad night (1816) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
  Replies (65) Good night (20513) Bad night (1813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO. http://tfl.nu/9byh
  Replies (28) Good night (4141) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud. http://tfl.nu/fmdm
  Replies (96) Good night (13156) Bad night (2121) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up. http://tfl.nu/oxuw
  Replies (26) Good night (7902) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  this study room smells like vodka

  (310): View more from California

  the study room thinks the same about you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): this study room smells like vodka (310): the study room thinks the same about you http://tfl.nu/w62g
  Replies (16) Good night (6134) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj
  Replies (65) Good night (27838) Bad night (1804) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist. http://tfl.nu/hmuv
  Replies (37) Good night (8120) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  hows the party?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ists fjcssing insceredle

  (913): View more from Kansas

  be there in 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz
  Replies (61) Good night (26591) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard. http://tfl.nu/hy6n
  Replies (10) Good night (6465) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away. http://tfl.nu/2pvy
  Replies (32) Good night (8405) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something... http://tfl.nu/7h7f
  Replies (21) Good night (6930) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship. http://tfl.nu/de5k
  Replies (22) Good night (6853) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking. http://tfl.nu/ou65
  Replies (17) Good night (4974) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x
  Replies (26) Good night (14711) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt http://tfl.nu/x2m1
  Replies (35) Good night (3191) Bad night (6579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy. http://tfl.nu/h3zi
  Replies (16) Good night (6949) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued. http://tfl.nu/19hy
  Replies (40) Good night (11002) Bad night (2890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now. http://tfl.nu/gc18
  Replies (20) Good night (3316) Bad night (5644) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  What!?!?! How are you txting?!

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you. (1-775): What!?!?! How are you txting?! (775): Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/1ioc
  Replies (55) Good night (1032) Bad night (2940)