i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy