Texts From Last Night

velociraptor's Favorites Texts:

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.

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  (615): i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card. http://tfl.nu/6ciy
  Replies (40) Good night (9517) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college

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  (765): I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college http://tfl.nu/2g0y
  Replies (19) Good night (5010) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.

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  (630): If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries. http://tfl.nu/qapc
  Replies (26) Good night (4269) Bad night (680)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did he notice?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..

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  (267): we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself. (215): did he notice? (267): of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up.. http://tfl.nu/7kng
  Replies (83) Good night (1611) Bad night (9846)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3625) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything

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  (801): No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything http://tfl.nu/rmdb
  Replies (5) Good night (4702) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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  (408): Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand http://tfl.nu/h440
  Replies (31) Good night (4726) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  How was the bike ride?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

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  (734): How was the bike ride? (1-734): Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups. http://tfl.nu/2qrl
  Replies (21) Good night (8412) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal

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  (503): Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal http://tfl.nu/qwe2
  Replies (13) Good night (7164) Bad night (1329) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?

  (904): View more from Florida

  Both

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  (954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you? (904): Both http://tfl.nu/7q6w
  Replies (18) Good night (6082) Bad night (622)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

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  (205): I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean. http://tfl.nu/fik0
  Replies (44) Good night (9966) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and the officer said have you been drinking

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and i said NOO SIR.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and he said, I am a woman.

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  (864): and the officer said have you been drinking (864): and i said NOO SIR. (864): and he said, I am a woman. http://tfl.nu/8g3i
  Replies (19) Good night (1841) Bad night (6760)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.

  (207): View more from Maine

  welcome to maine.

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  (207): The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade. (207): welcome to maine. http://tfl.nu/bd8m
  Replies (47) Good night (669) Bad night (2679)
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  (714): View more from California

  I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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  (714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality. http://tfl.nu/yabq
  Replies (10) Good night (688) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her

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  (706): I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee (704): Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her http://tfl.nu/95cd
  Replies (23) Good night (4407) Bad night (640)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.

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  (612): I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children. http://tfl.nu/5wvk
  Replies (16) Good night (3127) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Welcome to every minute of my life.

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  (502): I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad? (1-502): Welcome to every minute of my life. http://tfl.nu/dbgu
  Replies (25) Good night (2596) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

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  (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7
  Replies (62) Good night (19378) Bad night (1458) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  you have got to be kidding?

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  (440): why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex. (1-440): you have got to be kidding? http://tfl.nu/stk6
  Replies (52) Good night (545) Bad night (4360) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo

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  (586): Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo http://tfl.nu/x92b
  Replies (2) Good night (1265) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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  (757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse' http://tfl.nu/umk4
  Replies (18) Good night (9945) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!

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  (315): THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7uwm
  Replies (14) Good night (6595) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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  (903): Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later. http://tfl.nu/bq2x
  Replies (14) Good night (7099) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt