I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
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I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
operation harelip BJ is a go
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
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