You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
