Texts From Last Night · mds123's Favorites

mds123's Favorites Texts:

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.

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(902): Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/j9u3

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(913): View more from Kansas

he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

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(913): he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying. http://tfl.nu/sfs9

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

no, didnt close...

(978): View more from Massachusetts

What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...

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(508): no, didnt close... (978): What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic... http://tfl.nu/lkpf

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.

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(401): She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY. http://tfl.nu/e2x6

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(585): View more from New York

im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed

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(585): im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed http://tfl.nu/eq1c

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(310): View more from California

Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

(1-310): View more from California

I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

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(310): Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on (1-310): I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his http://tfl.nu/vdif

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(916): View more from California

A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.

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(916): A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever. http://tfl.nu/cexy

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(678): View more from Georgia

I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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(678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd

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(586): View more from Michigan

You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?

(1-586): View more from Michigan

You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.

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(586): You do realize it's a Tuesday, right? (1-586): You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life. http://tfl.nu/em8w

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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(215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh

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(530): View more from California

i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something

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(530): i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something http://tfl.nu/obfg

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(256): View more from Alabama

my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table

(1-256): View more from Alabama

whatd she say to you?

(256): View more from Alabama

no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle

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(256): my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table (1-256): whatd she say to you? (256): no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle http://tfl.nu/mg7u

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(909): View more from California

so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.

(1-909): View more from California

I worship thee.

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(909): so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed. (1-909): I worship thee. http://tfl.nu/jd00

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(816): View more from Missouri

You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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(816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz

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(727): View more from Florida

Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.

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(727): Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America. http://tfl.nu/b8jy

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(410): View more from Maryland

Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

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(410): Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA! http://tfl.nu/7pku

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(802): View more from Vermont

Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.

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(802): Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser. http://tfl.nu/l90y

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

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(252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.

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(803): Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine. http://tfl.nu/e72g

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS

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(617): theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS http://tfl.nu/np1i

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.

(208): View more from Idaho

ha well at least you have goals.

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(208): Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong. (208): ha well at least you have goals. http://tfl.nu/c71p

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.

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(405): defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far. http://tfl.nu/t2l0

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(770): View more from Georgia

ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.

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(770): ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you. http://tfl.nu/3bx1

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot

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(413): I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot http://tfl.nu/9cpf

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(904): View more from Florida

took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.

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(904): took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch. http://tfl.nu/4x1m

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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(267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w

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(940): View more from Texas

Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

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(940): Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented. http://tfl.nu/jb6b

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(908): View more from New Jersey

There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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(908): There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life. http://tfl.nu/ab1p

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mds123's Favorites Texts:

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