Texts From Last Night

lorenn69's Favorites Texts:

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

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  (919): I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job. http://tfl.nu/800g
  Replies (25) Good night (4654) Bad night (3308) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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  (804): she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs. http://tfl.nu/jax9
  Replies (34) Good night (4630) Bad night (5957) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

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  (408): Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this http://tfl.nu/4kx4
  Replies (16) Good night (4798) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.

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  (970): Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier. http://tfl.nu/o9ed
  Replies (19) Good night (8817) Bad night (1085)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast

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  (609): i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast http://tfl.nu/q9sr
  Replies (26) Good night (920) Bad night (7224) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

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  (978): i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running. http://tfl.nu/jcc8
  Replies (76) Good night (15585) Bad night (1515)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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  (440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried http://tfl.nu/9dr3
  Replies (49) Good night (14396) Bad night (3326) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

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  (916): my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out. http://tfl.nu/f1nl
  Replies (43) Good night (16028) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"

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  (631): So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?" http://tfl.nu/ljzm
  Replies (51) Good night (1802) Bad night (6405) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

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  (219): she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade. http://tfl.nu/8ipj
  Replies (11) Good night (3039) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities

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  (917): i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities http://tfl.nu/habk
  Replies (30) Good night (7075) Bad night (2459) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

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  (818): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face. http://tfl.nu/bthr
  Replies (42) Good night (3301) Bad night (8617) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  when did we get a doorman?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were also in the wrong building...

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  (203): yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman. (508): when did we get a doorman? (203): we were also in the wrong building... http://tfl.nu/c2ke
  Replies (15) Good night (6499) Bad night (704)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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  (920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g
  Replies (36) Good night (12103) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."

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  (970): Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college." http://tfl.nu/qe42
  Replies (19) Good night (4309) Bad night (859)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?

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  (218): If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air? http://tfl.nu/c5re
  Replies (35) Good night (4537) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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  (581): View more from Quebec

  I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.

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  (581): I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset. http://tfl.nu/8lj9
  Replies (33) Good night (1052) Bad night (5424) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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  (610): it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again. http://tfl.nu/0grs
  Replies (30) Good night (6094) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?

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  (305): If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette? http://tfl.nu/wdb5
  Replies (50) Good night (909) Bad night (2539) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..

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  (803): No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick.. http://tfl.nu/tonx
  Replies (23) Good night (6134) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

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  (360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam
  Replies (40) Good night (15812) Bad night (1734) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead

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  (304): Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead http://tfl.nu/8a8b
  Replies (25) Good night (4351) Bad night (1345) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (143) Good night (5998) Bad night (67490)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.

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  (920): My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed. http://tfl.nu/bpdu
  Replies (17) Good night (1040) Bad night (4848) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.

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  (608): I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday. http://tfl.nu/an09
  Replies (33) Good night (2108) Bad night (10493)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (106) Good night (47516) Bad night (1289) Order T-Shirt