im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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