i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.