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theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
my being single is dangerous.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
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