Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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