is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
