They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i can juggle bunnies
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Wipe that smile off your face.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support