he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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