when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
