she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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