before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
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I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.