Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top