how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I understand Curling. That high.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.