Texts From Last Night

daniel_zerimar's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/7ckj
  Replies (15) Good night (3053) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together... http://tfl.nu/sic1
  Replies (13) Good night (4904) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast. http://tfl.nu/j7ef
  Replies (14) Good night (4609) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love. http://tfl.nu/nlvg
  Replies (13) Good night (5391) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips. http://tfl.nu/10y5
  Replies (14) Good night (3118) Bad night (1725) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins. http://tfl.nu/zjez
  Replies (21) Good night (5273) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus? http://tfl.nu/o777
  Replies (13) Good night (6195) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed http://tfl.nu/lwb6
  Replies (11) Good night (2050) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills. http://tfl.nu/ed0l
  Replies (7) Good night (2954) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room. http://tfl.nu/hh2a
  Replies (6) Good night (2604) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars http://tfl.nu/ue2i
  Replies (4) Good night (3030) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right? http://tfl.nu/6ebj
  Replies (10) Good night (2916) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good. http://tfl.nu/7ot5
  Replies (2) Good night (3143) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now. http://tfl.nu/wa2b
  Replies (32) Good night (9083) Bad night (1395) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (5930) Bad night (1575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried? http://tfl.nu/xci2
  Replies (14) Good night (3767) Bad night (1330) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was http://tfl.nu/89k6
  Replies (21) Good night (3211) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies. http://tfl.nu/khmt
  Replies (9) Good night (5735) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  you dont

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i dont

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples (1-732): you dont (732): i dont http://tfl.nu/v78w
  Replies (7) Good night (4584) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties http://tfl.nu/ywu8
  Replies (16) Good night (5112) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  My mouth holds just enough water for my bong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): My mouth holds just enough water for my bong http://tfl.nu/u9dn
  Replies (7) Good night (2010) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that? http://tfl.nu/dqln
  Replies (6) Good night (3671) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/2s4x
  Replies (10) Good night (6591) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer http://tfl.nu/2v54
  Replies (26) Good night (4674) Bad night (1044) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you http://tfl.nu/07bs
  Replies (21) Good night (6504) Bad night (1259) Order T-Shirt