Texts From Last Night

chmik14's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up http://tfl.nu/xoz1
  Replies (9) Good night (1585) Bad night (178) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (823): View more from

  Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (823): Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning? http://tfl.nu/98fh
  Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that. http://tfl.nu/u65f
  Replies (3) Good night (1807) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK? http://tfl.nu/84zy
  Replies (7) Good night (1398) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore. http://tfl.nu/icvy
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified. http://tfl.nu/imja
  Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (1610) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave http://tfl.nu/ay74
  Replies (5) Good night (1555) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic. http://tfl.nu/8z3j
  Replies (7) Good night (2123) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged. http://tfl.nu/0scq
  Replies (2) Good night (1604) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom http://tfl.nu/fom9
  Replies (18) Good night (2944) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos. http://tfl.nu/dk8h
  Replies (12) Good night (2389) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook http://tfl.nu/xr9p
  Replies (14) Good night (2549) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship http://tfl.nu/l6zt
  Replies (2) Good night (1163) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night. http://tfl.nu/52we
  Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (1745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  ...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): ...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again. http://tfl.nu/4ubg
  Replies (10) Good night (660) Bad night (2085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities. http://tfl.nu/q7gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1306) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,

  (679): View more from Michigan

  I wanted to be a dolphin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it.., (679): I wanted to be a dolphin. http://tfl.nu/th6t
  Replies (10) Good night (4594) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y
  Replies (42) Good night (8863) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (499) Good night (82815) Bad night (7566)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (434) Good night (107955) Bad night (8844) Order T-Shirt