rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking