Texts From Last Night

starryeyes13's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night http://tfl.nu/u76q
  Replies (5) Good night (1910) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (564): View more from Washington

  He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (564): He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns http://tfl.nu/yiwx
  Replies (13) Good night (4579) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday. http://tfl.nu/s40o
  Replies (15) Good night (1958) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose. http://tfl.nu/hj91
  Replies (23) Good night (587) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer http://tfl.nu/lzgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more. http://tfl.nu/i6gm
  Replies (7) Good night (1007) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again. http://tfl.nu/xffh
  Replies (5) Good night (981) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be. http://tfl.nu/ssx0
  Replies (5) Good night (1880) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero http://tfl.nu/4z5t
  Replies (68) Good night (37822) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (52) Good night (68161) Bad night (1686) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much http://tfl.nu/71lk
  Replies (1) Good night (963) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable. http://tfl.nu/vijz
  Replies (3) Good night (1110) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (420): View more from

  It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (420): It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own. http://tfl.nu/cuwi
  Replies (6) Good night (1228) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names. http://tfl.nu/kef5
  Replies (7) Good night (1485) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you... http://tfl.nu/j9so
  Replies (11) Good night (2089) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles http://tfl.nu/kz93
  Replies (21) Good night (507) Bad night (2577) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj
  Replies (17) Good night (1951) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume (612): we need ur ladder http://tfl.nu/n9qh
  Replies (19) Good night (6635) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7 http://tfl.nu/z3hr
  Replies (47) Good night (9388) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI. http://tfl.nu/868g
  Replies (27) Good night (6980) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open. http://tfl.nu/kkl3
  Replies (23) Good night (13455) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life. http://tfl.nu/paqh
  Replies (71) Good night (24621) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  bring the vodka.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?

  (904): View more from Florida

  we are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): bring the vodka. (1-904): i thought we were going to mcdonalds..? (904): we are. http://tfl.nu/1144
  Replies (32) Good night (9168) Bad night (771)